It has been so long since my fingers flowed in unison with my thoughts...

I'm actually updating. I suppose that's good news.

Sometimes, I just like to roam over some Xangas, share quietly in the joy of others -- not to sound like I'm lacking. It's just nice to share.

Or even share the burden, though I'm sure some would prefer to heft it themselves.

It reminds me that we're all human.

It brings out the best in humanity -- the capacity to be compassionate.

Seeing how big the world is, I realize how small I really am.

I suppose there's no such thing as too humble.

So those're my random thoughts.

Hopefully, I'll have a New Year's Resolution up soon.

Hopefully.

You know, those moments when you realize -- you've done something very, very stupid?

That just happened to me.

Me: It just seems lately, the tiniest thing gets me mad
Me: And I've gotten so critcal
Me: critical^
Me: Are you friends with Hnokue Rob?
[Katorsky] .: Well I noticed you've been hanging with them faggots.
[Katorsky] .: Uh Hell no.

[Katorsky] .: Why did you think I called you a jerk.
[Katorsky] .: YOu hang around them bitches and they're nothing but lamers who think they're godly when they're not.

I'm getting closer to being like him.

That scares me.

It really does.

Out of wanting to learn, I hung around someone I shouldn't have.

I sacrificed my soul to the Devil, and hurt you.

I miss the simple things.

I miss just holding you close to me, just telling you I love you, or spending nights chatting with you on the phone.

I miss day-dreaming with you.

I miss those moments where I'd just brush your hair aside, and tuck it behind your ear.

I miss making memories.

Those simple things, you know?

Why are the simple things so hard to attain?

And isn't it funny that you asked me this -- about a year ago?

What's my problem?

I feel so on edge about him.. I can't seem to just trust.

What's wrong with me?

I'm tired -- tired of being sorry.

I'm tired of saying sorry and having the same thing happen again.

I'm tired of being so angry so easily, and being unable to speak.

I'm tired of waiting for you to talk while you wait for me to talk.

I'm tired of hurting you.

But I"m not tired of trying.

I'm not tired of retracing our footsteps and see what we missed.

I'm not tired of holding your hand.

I'm not tired of fighting.

But this isn't my choice alone.

Would you fight with me, and keep holding on?

Would you dare retrace and risk opening new wounds?

Would you throw your heart open for the other to peer at?

Forgive this idiot that cannot trust, with his short-temper, and critical words?

And help me...

Help me.

Sometimes it feels like I don't understand you.